i walked to McDonald’s for dinner tonight because
this is how I take care of my mental health;
i eat the grease, the salt, the possibly fake meat,
it makes me feel, even for a little while, better
this is how i deal with my life
i cannot control you or them
but i can control what’s going in my mouth
what i taste, what i feel
(the crinkle of the paper,
the coldness of the cup,
the salt on my lips)
when i feel full,
filled with questionable meat, soda,
salt, and grease
i regret my choice
i always regret my choice
(and then i lead myself to wonder, honestly,
why i cannot lose weight when the answer is
so obvious in my face)
but i keep going back
i keep ordering the same meal
(mCchicken, big mac, fries, large drink)
as eating is comfort and safety
there is a familiarity to this meal
a homecoming, if you will because
while the world is spinning out of control
at least i can say i mCdonald’s will never let me down.

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